A simple formula for being happy regardless of cirumstance
I mentioned in my first post about sacrificing short term profit for long term wealth the negative power of having an entitlement attitude. You know what demonstrates entitlement? The attitude of HAVE-DO-BE.
What does that mean? It means you believe that you must have a lot of money before you can do the things you want, which will then allow you to be the person you wish to be (that’s just one example of many).
The very important concept I learned from my mentor Scott deMoulin is to BE-DO HAVE!
That is, you BE before you can DO, and you DO before you can HAVE.
You don’t need to HAVE certain things to BE happy!
If that were the case then why would we have two completely different reactions/responses to the scenaroio of a man’s home being burned down?
Person A: Reacts and curses at God saying, ‘it’s unfair! I earned that home! I DESERVE it! Why have you let me down God?!”
Person B: Responds with gratitude to God saying, “Thank you for this incredible challenge and opportunity God,” and then gets creative, finds a way to build a new home, and continues leading an incredibly successful life.
How is that possible to have those two completely different reactions if we must HAVE something to BE happy?!
It touches upon many concepts, three of which are:
1. Taking 100% responsibility for your life
2. Entitlement vs. Non-Entitlement.
3. Have-Do-Be vs. Be-Do-Have.
100% Responsibility:
Sure you may be thinking, “Sean, how in the hell am I responsible for my house burning down? What if a pyro-maniac literally stormed the town and torched my home. What if there was a city wide fire that was responsible? How coud I possibly be responsible?!”
That question definitely touches on an area of gray for me as well, and I’m not sure how we could be responsible for that sort of thing (though I am open to the idea that we are). What if you began acting ‘as if’ though?
How would your life change if you began acting ‘as if’ you were responsible for everything that does or does not happen in your life? You’d be AMAZED at how liberating it is and the creativity that you could experience once you do that.
Entitlement:
On the entitlement issue, person A feels entitled to the materialistic items he owns. Person B on the other hand has released his sense of entitlement.
What happens when your possessions become who you are? The second you lose them your life is over!
Done!
Gone!
Zip!
Zilch!
You feel like you’ve lossed everything you are. And you HAVE!
How? Because you were living by the concept that you must HAVE something to BE something. You believe that you must HAVE riches to BE happy.
Be-Do-Have
Wherever you are in your life, it is time to get rid of that entitlement mentality! It is time to release it! It is time for you release the addiction to needing to have something, and instead just BEING!
Stop waiting to have riches to to make contributions (the do). Stop waiting to have riches to be happy!
BE HAPPY NOW!
BE SUCCESSFUL NOW!
If you want to live a life of purpose, than begin living your life on purpose!
What’s a great way to shift your paradigm to be-do-have?
Gratitude and Appreciation.
You see, what you appreciate appreciates! Appreciate what you have NOW. Be grateful for what you have NOW. Stop waiting until you have that perfect relationship or dream job. Take 100% responsibility now, release that sense of entitlement to the universe, and…
Be grateful. Be grateful. Be grateful.
NOW!
Remember, it’s your choice to create an extraordinary life!
Please leave your candid thoughts on todays post and be sure to come back to dialogue more with me and the other readers on this topic.
Tags: Being, Entitlement, Happiness, Responsibility
Sean,
I couldn’t agree with you more - gratitude for what we already have is key, I actually just posted on that yesterday.
The understanding from deep within that we are not defined by our present circumstance is also paramount.
Many people are facing difficult times and it’s easy for them to feel defeated or depressed by their current situation. Perhaps that “negative” circumstance is really an opportunity to propel yourself into the life of your dreams - it happened that way for me..
Amen! I love what you said there, ‘The understanding from deep within that we are not defined by our present circumstance is also paramount.’ So true!
That “negative” circumstance IS an opportunity to propel forward!
We are in an age where it is TIME for creativity! The real challenge isn’t making the next months rent! It’s becoming creative, growing, evolving, learning a new skill!
–Sean Patrick Simpson
Hey Sean,
Another great post. I’m aware of the concept BE-DO-HAVE.
However, acting (as if) was a great idea. I’ll start applying that today!
Here’s something that I always consider. We where brought into this physical world with nothing but ourselves, and we’ll leave this earth with no more physical possessions than we entered with.
So, WHY, would be believe we are what we have…..EGO
It’s a delusion based on our social conditioning. Sad but true.
Great post again,
~Ryan
Sean,
I love that 100% responsibility part. It’s what Shore Slocums said too, he said that you attract everything that happens into your life. It’s a challenging concept to accept for some people, or for some things that appear as “bad” - remember the human judgment? When I worked for the United Nations, I saw some really sad stuff in the so-called developing counties. The idea that these people chose the situations so they can have the best chance to spiritually grow, is something that’s completely new to me. But I can also see how you consider that situation you are in will have an impact on how you look at life, whether you consider yourself a victim, or see yourself as someone who has the power to change the situation.
Etsuko
Absolutely! We DO attract everything that happens into our lives. And as you said, it is a challenging concept when you start to begin to think of the EXTREME scenarios that are really, incredibly bad, where you can’t think of anyway you attracted it…for example you’re a super positive person, but someone broke into your house and stole everything. How did you attract that?
I’m not at my level of understanding with the concepts to be able to understand it…but the whole process of ‘acting as if,’ gives us an incredible opportunity.
I’m totally inline with what you’re saying about all the bad stuff that you witnesses. That’s a hard concept to understand.
Thanks for the post Etsuko!
–Sean Patrick Simpson
The Mindset Apprentice